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What Happens If My Spouse Tries To Divorce Me While I Am Deployed?

November 25, 2025

Posted in Guest Blogs

Deployment is one of the most demanding aspects of military life, emotionally, mentally, and logistically. When divorce proceedings begin while a service member is deployed, the challenges increase exponentially. Both the deployed spouse and the spouse seeking the divorce face legal and procedural obstacles that can affect the timeline, service of paperwork, and participation in court proceedings.

Understanding how the law protects service members during active duty can help you prepare and respond effectively, whether you are the one filing for divorce or the one being served. Below, our friends at New Beginnings Family Law discuss how to proceed if your spouse tries to divorce you while you are deployed.

Filing For Divorce When Your Spouse Is Deployed

If you are married to a service member who is currently deployed and you wish to file for divorce, the first step is locating your spouse in order to serve them with the divorce complaint and summons. This step can be more complicated than it sounds, as deployed service members are often stationed overseas or at undisclosed locations.

The most important piece of information you’ll need to begin this process is your spouse’s Social Security number. This identifier allows government and military channels to locate an active-duty member through official means. You can often find it on past joint tax returns, military orders, or leave and earnings statements (LES).

Once you have this information, you can contact the base locator office at the last installation where your spouse was stationed. You may also reach out to a local armed forces recruiter, especially if the service member joined the military in your area recently. In some cases, military legal offices are authorized to assist spouses with legitimate legal matters such as serving divorce papers.

Service of process, the formal act of delivering legal documents, can be completed by mail, through a process server, or via a deputy sheriff on base. However, if the service member is deployed overseas, international law may complicate the process. Each country has its own rules for serving legal documents, and navigating these requirements often takes additional time and patience.

Legal Protections For Deployed Service Members

If you are the deployed service member being served with divorce papers, you should know that federal law provides specific protections to ensure that your rights are not compromised while you are serving your country.

These protections are found in the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA), a federal law that safeguards active-duty military personnel from being unfairly disadvantaged in civil legal proceedings, including divorce, custody, or support cases.

The purpose of the SCRA is twofold:

  1. To allow service members to focus on their duties without being distracted by civil litigation.
  2. To prevent default judgments or unfair outcomes that might occur because a deployed service member cannot fully participate in their case.

Courts interpret the SCRA broadly to protect service members. If a service member cannot attend hearings or respond to filings due to deployment, they can request a stay of proceedings, a temporary pause on the case. This stay allows time for the service member to return home or otherwise participate meaningfully in the proceedings once their deployment schedule allows.

How A Stay Of Proceedings Works

A good contested divorce lawyer knows that a stay of proceedings is a powerful legal tool designed to pause the divorce process until the service member can reasonably participate. The stay is not a permanent dismissal of the case; rather, it ensures that the process is fair and that both parties have an equal opportunity to be heard.

For example, if a deployed spouse is stationed in an active combat zone or a location without reliable communication access, the court can issue a stay to delay hearings, discovery, or trial dates until the service member is available. This prevents one party from gaining an unfair advantage simply because the other cannot be present.

Courts recognize that military duties can make it difficult for a service member to attend to personal legal matters promptly. By granting a stay, the court ensures that no decisions are made in haste or without adequate input from both sides. This principle of fairness is central to how family courts handle military divorces involving deployment.

Balancing Military Duty And Civil Obligations

The law acknowledges that service members have a dual responsibility to their families and to their country. The SCRA was enacted precisely because military obligations can make it nearly impossible to handle certain civil matters, like divorce, without support or accommodation.

When courts issue a stay or delay proceedings, they do so to protect the integrity of the process, not to give one party an advantage. The goal is to make sure both spouses can fully present their cases once deployment-related limitations are resolved.

However, once the service member returns home or becomes available, the divorce process resumes. At that point, both parties can participate in hearings, file necessary documents, and move toward resolution.

Practical Steps For Both Spouses

If you are the non-military spouse, it is important to understand that delays are likely. International service of process, deployment schedules, and federal protections can all extend the timeline of your divorce. Patience and preparation are key. Working with legal counsel familiar with military divorce can help ensure that paperwork is filed correctly and efficiently, minimizing unnecessary delays.

If you are the service member, you should inform your commanding officer or legal assistance office as soon as you learn about the divorce filing. They can help you file for a stay under the SCRA and communicate with the court about your current deployment status. Keeping copies of deployment orders and military correspondence will be helpful in these filings.

Ensuring Fairness And Stability

Divorces involving deployed service members require careful coordination between state family courts and federal military law. The court’s ultimate goal is fairness, to give both spouses an equal opportunity to be heard, even when one is thousands of miles away.

If handled properly, the protections built into the law allow service members to fulfill their duties without sacrificing their legal rights or family relationships. Divorce is a deeply personal matter, but when deployment is added to the equation, knowledge, patience, and preparation make all the difference.

Understanding how the system works, and how to protect yourself within it, can help you navigate the process with clarity and confidence, even during one of life’s most challenging seasons.